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Issue 17 Out Now

Talk To Me In Your Love Language

Try to connect with your partner on a deeper level and learn their love language. Recognizing how your partner prefers to receive love will help bridge the gap between you. When couples speak different love languages, their feelings and intentions get lost in translation. Take the time to understand their love language as well as your own. Relationships prioritizing love language will have healthier communication and higher intimacy, strengthening their bond.

The term love language first came about in the 1980s. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor, wrote a book on the primary languages of love. Chapman developed the five love languages: affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The material pulls from his marriage counseling and linguistics background. Today the five love languages are used platonically and familially, allowing you to connect with those closest to you.

Words of Affirmation

Affirmations are powerful. We use words each day to uplift ourselves in tough times. Try using your words to build up your partner and those around you. To do this, verbalize affection, praise, appreciation, encouragement, and compliments. Any doubts or worries about the relationship vanish when utilizing affirmations. Both parties know where they stand and how they feel about each other.

Quality Time

Most couples think because they see each other often, the time they spend together is nothing special. Quality time is more than doing errands or just sitting around your partner; quality time is undivided attention. Show your partner that you are actively listening, make eye contact, and be present. Forgo phones and distractions to make them feel important. Those who speak this love language often feel unloved when their partner spends little to no time with them.

Acts of Service

To perform acts of service, anticipate and know your lover’s needs. Going out of your way to make their life easier is highly appreciated in this type of love. It can be as simple as unloading the dishwasher, picking up dry cleaning, making breakfast, or doing any task to lighten their load.

Receiving Gifts

Most people view this love language as materialistic when the thought is all that matters. Thoughtful gifts show your partner how much they mean to you. This gift could be a snack, a poem, a handmade item, a book, concert tickets, or anything they enjoy. The symbolic thought behind the gift matters more than its monetary value. A good gift given from the heart will make your partner feel cherished.

Physical Touch

This love language is simple but effective. Your partner loves affection through kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and sex. Similar to affirmations, physical touch reassures your partner and can form an intense connection between you. Make intimacy your top priority if your partner loves to be touched. This language is powerful due to its early childhood roots from affectionate and loving parents.

Identify and learn their love language. Your partner will not only be impressed by your hard work, but they will also appreciate you taking the time to love them properly. Upon recognizing their love language, you can begin to incorporate it into your relationship, working on their primary love language and seeing how they respond is best. If your connection with your partner deepens, keep speaking to them in that language, but if you find yourself stuck, communicate and come up with solutions. Everyone is different, and although they are primary love languages, that does not mean the other languages take a backseat. It might take a unique approach for it to work.

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