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Issue 17 Out Now

Eroticism; And How To Enjoy It

Alireza Helmi (@alirezahelmi_photography)

Self-expression can arise in various forms. One of the most consuming emotions held by humans is desire. When growing up, educators and parents instruct children to push their desires away, leaving adults unable to express themselves healthily and erotically. Adults who fail to convey their wants are less like to set boundaries, enjoy sexual expression, or even engage in erotic activities.

Adults that lack confidence in their sexuality are why sex Education is so important. Many schools provide poor sex ed, often teaching kids to practice abstinence. Instead of teaching children about their bodies, bodies different from theirs, how to have safe sex, or how queer people can practice safer sex. Schools opt for a shameful approach teaching them to be scared of their bodies and shun desires that may arise.

Eroticism is much more than just sex. Eroticism is daydreams, anticipation, restlessness, and longing for old or new partners. Found in paintings, sculptures, photography, music, and literature. Eroticism not only sparks sexual feelings and desire but also drives artists to create works based on their own wants or the wants of many. Eroticism is all the moments leading up to the act.

Proper sex education can help adults on this path. Without the much-needed education, the shame associated with sex begins to grow. Meaning later in life sex and eroticism become a shameful acts done quickly in the dark. Thanks to body issues, insecurity, and lack of confidence. An adult with an unhealthy sex life will struggle to communicate their desires and let others in emotionally. While this affects how they interact with others, it also changes the perception of their body, leading to the individual not seeing themselves in an erotic light. Instead of exploring hidden desires, most opt for a quick finish. It becomes a job rather than a pleasurable activity. For those on their own using the fastest methods to find relief, this is also true. To have an erotic experience slowing down and spending quality time with yourself or your partner will allow you to have more exciting and passionate moments.

Practice eroticism like you would self-care. Find the time to unwind, pamper yourself, and explore your needs. Self-care uses products that help elevate and relax the body. Erotic self-care is the same. Take the time to feel comfortable in your body and sexuality. Taking care of yourself can lead you to discover new sensations and feelings that can be used and shared with partners. When incorporating erotic self-care with a partner or alone, try utilizing different kinds of touch and breathe play. These techniques can cause various sensations in the body depending on where you use them.

When beginning the journey of erotic self-care, it’s crucial to know what brings vivacity into your life, and also equally important to know what takes it away from you. Performing tasks that constantly drain you while enduring large amounts of stress can be a turn-off, even without these tasks being sexual. Living an exhausting life will reach all aspects of your life. If you aren’t careful sex can turn into a chore and leave no room or time for erotic self-care. When engaging in tasks that bring joy to your life, the opposite will happen. Simply being happy is a turn-on, the texture from your favorite food, when a drink makes you warm, or even in the shower when the hot water starts to feel good on the nape.

Eroticism can open you up in so many different ways. It will make you a more effective communicator, help you reveal private feelings, choose better partners, and overall help you understand your desires and what to do with them.

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