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Issue 17 Out Now

Open Letter To My Future Self

Photo from Oxford Student

Dear future me,

First off, I believe I have been too hard on you, and I owe you an apology. As you know, I have always had such high hopes for you. Hopes that served us well throughout the years.

But, if the past years have taught me nothing else, it is that the plans and expectations we have for our lives are the stuff of God’s amusement. And while I do not regret my high hopes for you and still hold on to them, what I do regret is this unfair disappointment and frustration my unrealistic, rigid, and inflexible expectations have caused you.

You don’t deserve that. I have so much respect for your journey and your progress during these trying times.

This progress, along with your resilience and fight, is what deserves to be recognized, not your shortcomings.

Therefore, I promise to relinquish the rigid picture I had in my head of who you will be. And instead, I will carry my belief in you with me and work towards my hopes that I have more influence over. These are the hopes I have for us.

Future me, I hope I have done right by you and that I have not betrayed my needs and dreams for others.

I hope that you are still kind, that you have learned how to wield your power and stop letting others convince you to be ashamed of it.

I hope you know who you are, and you stopped letting people tell you who you can be.

I hope you are brave and strong enough to be vulnerable.

I hope you do not look back at me with eyes of disappointment and regret.

I hope you are strong and independent, not because you have to be but because you want to.

I hope you kept your circle small and are a blessing to the ones you trust.

I hope you are still close with your family.

I hope you found balance and peace in yourself and in people that pour into you just as much as you do into them.

I hope you did not stop loving generously but instead focused your efforts on deserving confidants.

I hope you are comfortable with winning without applause.

I hope you keep your humble soul.

I hope it gets less lonely.

I hope when it comes to connections and friends, there is more quality over quantity.

I hope you are adaptable but not to the point where you bend your morals and principles.

I hope you preserved your light and that you have fought for yourself unapologetically.

Future me, do not forget about me. Do not forget about the journey. How difficult it was. Remember it so that when you make it, you can make a difference.

And I hope you can give others the same gift of trust and compassion to find their way.

Who you will be may not look like what I imagined it, but I know you are with trust and compassion. Therefore, with my efforts every day towards these hopes, whoever you will be, I suspect I will be proud.


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